Parallel Universes: Two Timelines, One People, Same Islands, Same Date
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• The following are two news reports accessed by the Maltafly Multi-Timeline Receptor (MMTR). The first, dated 21 September 2164, is a local TV news report giving insight into the intricate web of a small multi-sovereign archipelago on a parallel earth. This is followed by Celebrations and Challenges Ahead, a press article of the same date, from the same islands, but from yet another parrallel earth.
MMTR RECEPTION 1
Timeline: MD0094t: 21 September 2164
Locality: The Archi-Maltipelago, Mediterranean Sea
Qrendi Broadcasting Conspiration presents: The QBC-Noose in Inglish
Return of Trapper's Relic crucial to Qrendi's support for sanctions against Mosta, says Assembly as Bidnija fears loom
• ...and now over to Wendy Bundy-Bondì, reporting Live from Vjal ir-Relikwi, Qrendi... Wendy?
Celebrations and Challenges Ahead
10th Anniversary celebrations launched with PN and PL leaders' rousing speeches as AHMAD maintains boycott
By Deirdre-Anne Caruana-Vella | MaltaNoose.eu
• VALLETTA | 21.09.2164 - Malta today celebrates its 10th anniversary of Regionhood, a status it equally shares with Sicily since 2154.
"We commemorate today a very commemorable day," Chief-at-Council Dr Stencil Fenech Borg-Oliva told the cheering crowd gathered at the St Simon Buzuttin Arena, accompanied by an overwhelming online audience.
"A decade ago today, Malta waved its provincial days good-bye and our beloved region became officially known as The Region of Sicily & Malta.
"It was the PN that achieved this upgrade... at a time when we were told it was impossible for a province of just over 100,000 to attain EU Regionhood," Dr Fenech Borg-Oliva said, causing an upsurge in Phasebook Likes.
"And now, the time for bold action is upon us once again. Soon - our Glorious Leaders willing - they will call it The Region of Malta & Sicily!" the Chief-at-Council concluded jokingly to joyous chanting of Glory-to-the-Union iTunes and YoutubeLive singalongs.
Taking the High Rostrum, Opposition leader Dr John-Etoile Borg-Cassidy reminded Chief-at-Council that it was a PL administration that had earned Malta the Province-of-the-Year Award seven years earlier.
"That award had paved the way to Regionhood," Dr Borg-Cassidy claimed. "And when we're back in power we will join our Sicilian brothers and sisters in order to win the Region-of-the-Year Award," he added to thundering LiveBJs applause.
"This will surely gain us the admiration of our Dear Leaders in Bruksell. It will generate lots of buqxiex for us to further contribute to The Union's Collective Fund for Perpetual Debt & Prosperity.
"We need to face this challenge this century and only PL can make it happen," Dr Borg-Cassidy concluded to resounding Tweet-Balls and hot Hi-Fivers.
The Alleanza Hadra ghal Moralita Alternattivament Demokratika (AHMAD) proceeded with their boycott, claiming they are still waiting for electoral reforms.
Contacted by MaltaNoose.eu, Alleanza leader Dr Jaskyle Borg-Abdulhadrani said their boycott should not dampen this glorious day.
"A hundred and fifty years ago there were too many of us and we lived in crammed caves," he said, referring to the widespread belief that Malta's population once topped 400,000.
"We were all alone, blindly bungling things our way, living immorally, spending as if we were the ones printing the money... Ifhimni, before we came to enjoy real money there were times when they relied on local coupons," Dr Borg-Abdulhadrani explained with reference to the so-called 'Lirry Maltin".
"Today, we have Union governance, we have Regional guidance; we have intricate laws for delicate order, and we have real buqxiex - as many buqxiex as they choose to create for us, backed by our sincere sweat and toil," he continued, referring to our beloved euro, graciously supplied at reasonably accumulating interest rates.
"All we're missing is a fine set of electoral rules so we too can warm a seat at-Council!
"It's not fair!" Dr Borg-Abdulhadrani concluded to a Tweeting uproar.
"I want a seat at-Council too!"
See also: Il-Mewta Tragika ta' Dr Stencil