Dispatch One: Foreign Minister debriefed by US State Department staffers
Dear Maltese Tellectuals,
My European brothers and sisters,
Have I got happy news for you!
The US State Department – no less! – eager to measure the Maltese administration’s response-readiness to US subversive efforts in North Africa and the Middle East, has asked its European affairs bureau to dispatch a deputy assistant to debrief our foreign minister.
Our foreign minister’s performance was far from a dog’s dinner, l-ahwa! Reflecting the views of his arch-minister, EU foreign and security chief Baroness Ashton, he expressed concern over both regions, especially EU-sanctioned Syria, where he really, really hoped for the best, so things can improve for the better, so people will be happy and happier, and not sad and sadder…
No word on whether he expressed gratitude for the destabilisation of the infamous Syrian secularist regime, all to the benefit of freedom-fighting, moderately extreme Islamists, shaped by the West into fully-armed hero rebels fighting for a Syria free of secularism and other non-Islamic influences and beliefs.
Our foreign minister was also asked what he thought about the great Libyan feat, characterised by Libya’s rapid rise from a secular anti-Western functioning regime to an Islamist-riddled anti-Western dysfunctional oligarchy.
So sensitively insightful were our foreign minister’s views on Libya they were treated with utmost confidentiality; as were his views on the situation in Tunisia, where extremists are on a Spring spree, and Egypt, where the Muslim Brotherhood’s backstage elite – old friends of the Soros Spring Foundation – are leading the fully democratic Islamist regime into a formidable double role in the creation of further division and conflict where peace would never have otherwise reigned again for a while-anyway-so-what-the-heck!
Finally, in a solemn gesture of prescribed timelessness, our foreign minister renewed the 1970s noble mantra against Israeli settlements on occupied land, underlining the perpetuity of a decades-old crisis justifiably made worse towards a blisfully happy ending to a never-ending centuries-old trifecta-crusade that was otherwise long dead, but for its timely resurrection towards global peace and unity that follow great wars and strife.
Here, Comrades, is the full and official final draft of the all-in-a-day’s-work report by the Salvu Today news dispenser:
Malta and US discuss Mediterranean Region
And remember, l-ahwa: a diehes a day keeps the doctor on pay.
As Syrian Islamists Gain, It's Rebel Against Rebel (WSJ)
Arming Syria’s Rebellion: How Libyan Weapons and Know-How Reach Anti-Assad Fighters (Time)
How Obama and Al-Qaeda Became Syrian Bedfellows (by Shamus Cooke)
Disspac No.00001/deafley-file. This dispatch first appeared on The Deafley-File on 20.05.2013. It is being reproduced with special permission from Lady Karavana Garlicia, Size 16, Bwidnejja.